“When you’re with that person at the beginning and something strikes you as odd or bizarre, and it sticks with you, it makes you uncomfortable but you can’t really wrap meaning around it,” that’s your red flag, says Bethany Marshall, Ph D, Psy D, author of Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away.
“Early in a relationship, it’s that one thing that’s right in front of you that may be a sign of something deeper.” Everyone can have a bad day, so don’t rush to judgment, Marshall says.
Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.
We see images of them plastered across shop windows and magazine covers, flashing across television screens.
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But don’t use a long list of deal-breakers as an excuse to keep people away.
“No one is going to be perfect.” On the other hand, she adds, “Don’t go into any relationship thinking you’re going to reform them.” You won’t.
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“But you have to trust yourself to ask questions about things that make you feel uncomfortable.” “In the first blush of romance, people overlook a lot of stuff because they’re so excited,” says clinical psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed D.
But after a month or so, that’s when it’s time to look closer.